February 12th 2013

Not able to watch the live feed for long mobile but just thought that if dorner has those oxygen tanks still and an open flame there's another weapon.

I'm not sure how I started receiving messages from "let the revolution begin..." o dont remembr Coming across it or liking page. Did this happen to anyone else?

Comfortably numb and turning in for the night soon. I dont like all these strange people around me. I just want to go home but not without conditions met. There was something abusive and disregard about something else my mother said today that I cant remember that I need witnesses for. I'm sure it will come back to me. She had no business staying in this country raising her children post injury.

something occurred to me today out of the blue so I looked up talking in sleep and past life since I'm known for doing so and so is my father. came across unresolved issues. thinking bout the little boy with nightmares where he says a name and ship. at 8 was known to talk about apple juice. taped my self once and talked about a shirt 20 years later. my father would talk about tall buildings. hmmmm

February 11th 2013 

PS - what I need is intervention. Intervention to my mother to bring her to reality of who and what I am.

ok here's an example of what is happening and has been happening for years.

I can print 20 pages for free so I've been mailing bundles of my facebook life to my mother to let her know of my existence (she's not online). She pays the phone bill so she should know where her money is going to. When I called her up today to let her know that I can't get back without the timing belt fixed she was pissed off at me because she thought the bundle I mailed her the first time was taxes (thus she handles all my finances as an informal guardianship). WHAT IS HAPPENING IS TRAVESTY AND SHE CAN'T SEE IT. SHE CAN ONLY COMMENT ON HOW DARE I MAIL HER NONSENSE. just writing all of this is draining me. Another thing happening is that my oldest sister who hasnt been around her house since 1984 or 5 is telling her that I'm my own person now so here I am all these years later not having gotten the help I needed to live a full life she's trying to instill now what needed to have been instilled with help years ago so as to prevent the mess I'm in now. Claire has nooooo idea of daily life in our house or maybe she does have an idea and that's what has kept her away. Either way for Claire to be involved solely in something so personal as a guardianship is soooooo fucking inappropriate. I NEED HELP REALLY REALLY BAD. THE WOMAN GIVEN GUARDIANSHIP OF ME HAS ONLY ABUSED ME MEDICALLY by not taking care of the medical problem and is now a free loose cannon. THE PLEA BARGAIN I WOULD ACCEPT OF ALL SHE'S GOTTEN AWAY WITH IS SIMPLY RETURNING TO THE LIFE I HAVE AT HER HOUSE AT ANY GIVEN TIME BUT THIS TIME SOMEONE IS THERE MONITORING THE SITUATION. I can't get anymore out right now. My emotions get the best of me (within other brain injured it's called the bottle-neck effect - just can't get the words out).

PS - what I need is intervention. Intervention to my mother to bring her to reality of who and what I am.

SOS PLS HELP!!! I KEEP REACHING OUT TO A WOMAN WHO COULD NEVER TAKE CARE OF ME. I CANT GET BACK TO THE EAST COAST IF MY TIMING BELT IS NOT CHANGED. EVEN AFTER ALL THIS MY MOTHER STILL DOESNT GET THE ASSISTANCE AND CARE I NRED. I DONT OWN 1100 DOLLARS ANYMORE!!!THIS WOMAN SHOULD KNOW THIS BECAUSE SHE'S HANDLED MY FINANCES ALL THESE YEARS. NO ONE KNOWS ME LIKE MY FRIENDS FROM DEPAUL KNOW ME. I JUST KEEP HANGING ON TO HOPE. I WAS DISCHARGED FROM A CHILDRENS HOSPITAL WITH DIRECTIONS I WOULD RETURN AND MY PARENTS NEVER TOOK ME BACK PLUS THEY KEPT ME IN CATHOLIC SCHOOL UNTIL I THREATENED POLICE TO MY MOTHER. OH I'M FINALLY GIVEN APPROPRIATE SCHOOLING MY SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AT MY OWN INVESTIGATION. MY ASSIGNED GUARDIAN DIDNT KNOW HOW TO HELP ME. I WANT TO LIVE AND I WANT TO COME HOME TO YOU ALL BUT I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE PROTECTED AS A DISABLED ADULT CHILD. THAT'S A LEGAL TERM I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT'S APPROPRIATE RIGHT NOW. I CANT ACCEPT I COULD BE MURDERED TONIGHT IN MY CAR AND MY MOTHER NEVER GOT HOW TO PROVIDE APPROPRIATE CARE TO ME. IF I CAN DRIVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY THEN WHY WILL NO ONE HIRE ME??? HER RESPONSE WAS "WELL YOU WERE TOLD TO COME BACK TO NJ AND GET A JOB." EVEN THOUGH I NEED TO DIRECT THIS TO THOSE I LOVE MOST LIKE GREG AND ERIN AND PATTY AND MICHELLE... I NEED TO POST THIS ON MY PAGE BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO CARE FOR THIS VULNERABLE ADULT. I WANT TO GO HOME BUT CANT W/O PROTECTION FOR ME FROM A BROKEN FAMILY. HELP ME PLEASE!  

February 10th 2013

some good news!

Seattle mayor forces police to abandon spy drone program — RT

Well now we all know the credit card companies, phone companies and God knows what else is all tied in. 2 months and my messages that only save for ten days are still there. I'm guessing insurance is also tied in. oh the end of me will be a glorious peaceful day and the people responsible for letting this life turn into what it did have a sorry ass karma coming down on them. The past is the past ok but save me now and no one is saving me because my care was left to a loose canon who's not all bad - just incompetent in some serious ways which is why the answer was to move her and her children back to the country she came from or get proper help in America. Even my hospital release records indicate most concern about me do to my amazing bounce back yet there's other things going on that are easy to forget about. Wishing save me from this mess or kill me. I'm not following Tecumseh's advice and maybe that's a prob.

I wish the police patrol would roll around again. I'd really like to go brush my teeth. A bunch of people in the car next to me and one guy walked inside with a heavy bag. Helicopter flew over twice. Doesnt mean it's tied specifically to here. Forcing myself to keep my eyes open. I might nap here sitting upright. Should atleast get my toothbrush and paste or else I'll wake running in without. More company. Hete he comes w heavy bag and put in trunk. Whew engine started and going. Coast clear.

not anymore. truck pulled next to me...teeth brushed and he's backed up enough as if parked for the night. I just heard his door close. Going to sleep.

 February 9th 2013

Well I guess I'm talking to myself most of the time anyway and nobody else has accepted my invite besides Sarah and Steven. there are times I just cant handle when people slap you in the face like angel Bedell, Trista Colatriglio, and Cathy middlesworth (Cindi Smith). I picked up somewhere that these slime are calling my expressions a feeling sorry for myself bought. Not so much angel because she's an all around loser but especially Cathy coz I talked to her the most and then Trista who couldnt posess good timing if her life depended on it. I was failed by my parents, the school, the Surrogate's Court, my oldest sister and anyone else I'm forgetting holding it together the best I can until my mother drops me down a garbage chute freefall keeping insynch with her life as an immigrant in this country. Her am... you know I'm so enmeshed in a mess I cant even get the words out.

 February 8th 2013

Been emotional lately that I really want to go home. Added on to that the stipulation of the Surrogate's Court and wrote my mother about that 2ce. The woman who instead of seeking advice from professionals over me seeks it from her sister who (as a child) had to live across the country in what had to be a catholic-run hospital for God knows how long being treated for polio. I sometimes wonder what my father may have done to make a mess of our lives. He worked for IBM and very well could have chasing waterfalls. Does it matter anymore? I'm out of survival methods and want to put my foot through the radio every time I hear that song bout settle down and make your home. My turqoise jewelry is not just for physical safety travels but to keep me also safe if I travel out of this life when the pineal gland opens up and escorts me back to spirit.

I'm totally open to finding out if there's something different for the latter protection.

 February 7th 2013

Well that the end of that town. I'll be damned I go stir crazy while there's 8 unused puters

so now I'm in a strange new place and def not as quiet. I'm surrounded by hotels and a residence. the puter situation is worse that you get one hour free and $1 every 20 minutes thereafter which I cant do. I sent an email to the county librarian where I was asking if this situation could be fixed for me to come back which may have been a moronic move but hey I have nothing else left in life. I explained in the email my need to stay in a familiar environment based on a childhood injury and changing is like asking someone with severe cerebral palsy to walk 20 miles w/o a wheelchair. this is hard on me cognitively and financially. there's a lot of bike riders round here. now got to get busy finding survival means.

this sucks! needed to come here early to investigate what works and doesnt. :(((

Just about to share link where native American halted an anti illegal immigration rally in tuscon AZ to show the teal illegalities is the anti protestors and my browser closed out! Irony...anyway signing off for the night that any trouble makers better leave me alone tonight or take my life...no in between. Dont damage my car. Wake me up and threaten me by which I will not bend to you so you will have to kill me. Meaning "give me all your money"="kill me for it." &to that I say, good night all. Zzzzzz

just as my intuition felt that something is up around me, walking out the door hear 3 ladies talking is their home to where I was w/in a mile of gang shootings. I just need to listen to my antennae when they first begin to warn by sudden bad feelings I get. just heard a pop pop which could have been anything in the distance. I just dont need to live w/ car damage. dead with car damage is fine. guess we'll find out tomorrow if I turned out ok.

  

February 6th 2013

ok let's see if the Citizen's Commission on Human Rights can help undo the mess I'm in. It's a good thing I listened/watched this video until the end because it's at the end where I find out they exist. My story caught the attention of someone there. Wow with all I've been through in trying to make things better could it finally be happening that someone can help me out? that I actually have a life that is worth something? Gee I never thought I'd hear myself talk like this but after going through 17 years of being dragged through smut it makes sense I'm drained.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=2YBQY4XAUgI&nomobile=1

I hold no false hopes though. If things can't get right during a 17 year period it's completely viable that there not going to.

"When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home." --Tecumseh

Oh holy sh** the creepy beach boys song kokomo. More like experimentation in kokomo Indiana - not hot bodies in the sun. Bodies in the sand? That I believe.

February 5th 2013 

To watch non-mobile. Claire do you get it yet? http://www.whitewolfpack.com/2012/08/earth-wisdom-for-world-in-crisis-video.html?m=1

One of those times I feel privileged to have been around and know people who know Chief Lyons. I remember when he came right up to me and signed my hydrofracking petition . I think he was there with all the others as we prayed for healing to the lake that has been ruined by pollution from the company before Honeywell. How unfortunate that JP Morgan Chase has any appearance in this video. Lots of other things keyed in on. Good video.

February 4th 2013  

Just felt another pang of reality as I heard the beach boys singing. Had to look up the song since I'd never heard of it - talking about north of morro bay and South of monterey bay and last word liberty. My sister that died liked the beach boys. Have to wonder if the sole sister granted guardianship even knows that. She was never around. This makes no sense. She doesnt know or care about her family - just the dogma of The Way International. I keep hearing Erin's first words about her: "I never met her." Of how involved in each other's lives we all were and she was living in the same town we all went to school and she never met my friends, never was at any graduations or performances (outside of one because my mother was on vacation and I needed a ride in 8th grade. That's probably when she was learning the "sinfulness" of gays and stereotype that all actors are gay partly because they allow satan to infiltrate the mind by pretending to be someone else thru acting. This situation is really out of control by allowing my mother to remain the loose cannon she's been. Claire doesnt even think that way. Just knows my mother's chosen to follow the devil thru catholicism but believing lying is not best but is ok to use if needed like when she lied in court that The Way International did NOT break up. Well since she's heterosexual I guess she knows now not all actors are gay. I just want this life over with. There's nothing more inappropriate than being broken up from family over 30 years later. In her 1/2 baked shell there's nothing wrong with me coming home the way things are just like there was nothing wrong with the bully across the street she witnessed from her window, nothing wrong with denying voc rehab when I was 17, nothing wrong with all the fighting and complaints about inadequate medical care for me and my sister, nothing wrong with no even stepfather since I was 12 - not even a date, nothing wrong until going to court and saying I just keep fighting with her, nothing wrong that she put an abrupt end to my father teaching me to defend myself when he was still alive. Absolutely nothings wrong in the fantasy life this woman has been left to live and all I ask is for the plea bargain of returning to the house she has only begged and pleaded me to come back to so that I can carry out any sense of full-circle bringing Christine to modern updated medical care yet my mother only listens to her same uneducated sister on what to do and w/o this being fixed I'll be returning to spirit. Cant say I havent testified to life while Claire was never around and being that she doesn't know what it's like to live in an institution has no problem with it. She's since going thru her learning process again after learning about "Tara's law" based on the DEATH of Tara o'leary in an institution.

Hey always love hearing from you/you guys. I think it's called California Saga. Here are the lyrics: "California Saga / California"
On my way to sunny California On my way to spend another sunny day
Water, water Get yourself in the cool, clear, water The sun shines brightly down on Penny's place The sun shines brightly down on the bay
The air's so clean, it'll just take your mind away Take your mind away Take your mind away
Have you ever been south of Monterey? Barrancas carve the coast line And in the chaparral flows to the sea 'Neath waves of golden sunshine
And have you ever been north of Morro Bay The south coast plows the sea And the people there are of the breed They don't need electricity
Water, water Cool cascades of clear, clear water The sun dance final scene sets the hills ablaze Horizon edges quick up the mountain's way
Have you ever been down Salina's way? Where Steinbeck found the valley And he wrote about it the way it was In his travelin's with Charlie
And have you ever walked down through the sycamores Where the farmhouse used to be There the monarch's autumn journey ends On a windswept Cyprus tree
Water, water Get yourself in that cool, clear, water The sun shines brightly down on Penny's place The air's so clean that it just takes your mind away Take your mind away Take your mind away
Have you ever been to a festival The Big Sur congregation? Where country Joe will do his show And he'd sing about liberty
And the people there in the open air One big family Yeah, the people there love to sing and share Their new found liberty

Read more: BEACH BOYS - CALIFORNIA SAGA / CALIFORNIA LYRICS

February 3rd 2013  

and I forgot to signify here: that I'm talking about my mother: "In her 1/2 baked shell there's nothing wrong..."

I'm justified again. Never forget Rose Kennedy.

watching the rest of this. making me SICK. Know all about the forced restraint (and injuries), and forced medication, and checking to make sure medication is swallowed (even though it was done after a law was passed against this practice).NO JUSTICE NO FUCKING PEACE. No worries. The apex of neglect in my life will have me dead soon. There's my peace?

Iodine sinks into my body in 5 hours which shows I'm Iodine deficient. Is that caused by ALL medications I was put on since 1978? - (not psychiatric since 1978; was sent home from hospital with just vitamins). Endocrine disruption? One good thing is that Iodine supplements are not all that expensive but paying for it is getting me to the grave sooner just like one meal a day will do that as well as paying for nutritional and herbal supplements. Beyond pissed listening/watching this. Justice will calm me down.

sweet dreams everyone http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=YQWszrZHBPI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DYQWszrZHBPI

by not paying credit cards (except for 1) I'm left with enough money for my 1 meal/day and 1 coffee/day (coffee only where the undesirable works) otherwise it's ¢.42 - ¢.92 more at Starbucks. there's no $ left for gas. I save on gas IF the power freak at the library is forced to change her ways in allowing me to use the computer for more than 2 hrs (while there's 8 computers open!!!!! trying to remember things will be eased a bit in the warmer weather. NEED TO USE MY INTELLIGENCE AT A JOB!!!!! WTF WTF WTF?

http://m.youtube.com/...

February 2nd 2013   

really having a hard time today. Am way behind on facebook from yesterday (that's a first) and today. Just don't feel like participating. Tired of not having stability and waiting to see if I can finally return to my life anywhere on the east coast. Tired of a lot. Tired of not being taken care of (and no I don't mean a social services / welfare ride - If I were supposed to be going down that road I would have been prepared for it in life). Tired tired tired.

tired of not working. Tired of the slime that has changed the course of this life - but that's what happens when someone who's easily taken advantage of is out in the world. Tired of this life. Tired of the misguidedness that brought me here. Tired of justice not being done.

Obama's Irish genetics understand the tactlessness of the Russians.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/snubbed.asp

February 1st 2013   

Felt a wave of sadness the other day - the type that lingers. Of the close friends I've gotten back in touch with I kept seeing this pretty young girl who could pass absolutely for family of my friend - same face freckles, blue eyes, and attractive. talk of being accepted to college. Then I did the math and felt like a freight train hit me. My friend has a 17 year old daughter. The past flashed before my eyes and all I'm suffering for all the adults who failed this life. It's to the point they're either going to make up for it or I wind up the ultimate sacrifice with hands tied. Here I am still caught up in the things needing to be taken care in this neglected child and my friends could be grandparents by now. The recklessness I was left to be cared by would tell me I didn't do any of the suggestions she'd make. THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUGGESTIONS AND A PLAN. THE SURROGATE'S COURT KNOWS IT COMES DOWN ON THEM AND KNOWS MY MOTHER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DECLINING VOC REHAB FOR ME. yes being in the system sucks and is limiting but is this any better??? No kids no marriage no career. Yeah that freight train is sounding real good right now. When I die there will be a certain # of people haunted. There's people out there who would tell me to stop and accept what's meant for me in life. HA! That's like saying let killers go free because the people they killed were all meant to be! This is just another freight train that's hit me and it comes down to accountability of people getting away with murder. Take my sister brainwashed in her cult about the choices people make yet when confronted about my injury causing deficits in decision-making she's out to lunch along with other significant people whose care i've been left to. This post would be more appropriate in the page i've created about children left behind but I havent had enogh invite acceptances yet.

January 31st 2013    

No wonder only 2 people have responded to my invite to my page! I goofed. I put it back in my name and had it under "someone needs to come to the aid of ..." PLEASE LIKE MY PAGE. I ran out of invite options but still working on getting those back.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/01/30/170636400/report-your-salary-data-may-be-for-sale no surprise here. These companies can really grip the psyche. Sometimes my antennae is more sensitive than others and when there was a cop present at my one meal of the day yesterday it was on full force. He was the usual good-looking tempting bodies that cops are and his conversation with more than one person in the joint told me he's a known local. outside of momentary paranoia that the place hired a cop to catch me in the act of taking some "all-you-can eat" with me for my next meal it was the woman with him that caught my attention. Tall with slicked back hair (not just tied back), round sunglasses, slightly big-boned with a bent-fotward walking posture, and an overgarment similar to a London fog. Hmmm govt worker stalking my whereabouts and habits hired by the credit card companies not getting paid? happens again and I'm finding a different all you can eat joint.

 skipping town altogether seems the better way to go. will see....

January 30th 2013 

Just sent a message to a California relative or atleast looks like the name(s) and locations seem to be correct. If I dont have the right person I might get blocked for a while.

:(((((( this place all around sucks. When I was here last time didnt even ask to use the computer for more than 2hrs. I have since become aware of data limits and have stayed 2 places where it was ok to use the computer for as long as I want as long as there's atleast 3 computers open. I was told yesterday that I cant do that here -while there were 8 computers open. Oh maybe now I have to mail my mother a letter to warn her again about data limit and changing the plan would be cheaper by just adding $5 for unlimited data. The twisted truth that the woman whose reckless care I'm going to die from pays the lifelink of a phone. She knows I'm not psychiatric and didnt know where to turn with all the troubles she had with me so in the end it's just easiest to let me go and say I told you so as I freefall down the garbage chute. Erin I really hope you're able to do something. Of all the people that gravitate to you (with good reason wonderwoman! I hope you can interfere here. Come to think of it Erin, was the Surrogate's court ever involved when your father died? I just heard a song on the radio "run for your life." No I'll just die here. Someone needs to save me at this point. I can always drive back to a viable plan laid out for me.

January 29th 2013

TEST: click the follow button I added to my profile (timeline) page.
I was trying to see how many "like"d my page but maybe there is no "like" button. Then when it kept telling me to look at my admin on the top right corner, there is no admin on my timeline page! 

Complete turn-offs: backwards baseball caps and falling-off pants.

 January 27th 2013

Can white man relate to referring to a bear as "our brother?" Most likely not so read this and follow recommendations accordingly.

An Open Letter to White “Indigenous Solidarity Activists”

ndnmedia.wordpress.com

seeeee! lol we're such WHITE men!

you have to get to know native American and how nature is all tied in from the creator but I dont want to tell you wrong so I suggest you have open discussion with a practicing native American. some have stepped away from their culture but most did not.

 

and Greg there's no place to post on your wall - wanted to let you know I mentioned you, Erin, and patty in a note of 20 pages I sent to my mother. she should get it tomorrow or Tuesday. I'm only trying to save my life. my mother thinks a lot of Erin from wut I can tell. I dont think she knew you or patty that well but she would definitely recognize your name out of a haystack.

time stood still for me Greg. you're all like family even though I've been out of touch. like I indicated, Erin nipped it in the butt by talking bout a plan. not only was Erin's mother at the hospital when we were but Erin's sister works for the headstart program for children. all of this is slipping thru the cracks in morristown and if I'm not saved I'll drown.

http://m.youtube.com/... back to my original subject here is the answer in the first 3 minutes:

the place I found to wake in the morning isnt going to work out. There's a judgemental, power freak, nosybody who I dont know for how long I'll run into him so prob need to stay away. When I encountered him over two months ago he was a prick and when I heard a young sweet girl say he's the only problem she has with her job my suspicions were confirmed. Maybe he's there more now because everyone's either quitting or getting fired by his attitude. He seems to pass judgement and act accordingly. He's a gay guy (very obviously) and I'm guessing he's reflecting his anger and hurt into all new people he meets. On the other hand I've encountered a guy who is different because he likes to wear makeup as if he's a woman and I can see he's put off by the way people look at him but he's not the mean spirited type like this other guy. Just like I've gone thru life walking with a limp and all the social ramifications that come with it I'm not mean spirited. Options are dwindling in this quiet boring place.