sitting here in the wet weather again in my car. Something is not working up to par. Not sure if it's my bladder or my kidneys but I told mom she doesn't have a lot of time. To go do something. This is it. I might want to try to hold onto life now but as one becomes delirious it wont matter. I already posted about mom's interactions to doing something. I really don't know what the problem is. I'm so tired. It's past 5 in the morning and I've been up all night. Yesterday morning got home 5am and slept til 9:30. then again for about 20 minutes around 1 and then another half hour at 2. Had my last drink of Vodka for more sleep while I watched Ellen at 4 but woke up around 6:30 so that was only 1.5 hrs. Used wifi for 2 hours 3 times this past evening so they turn into 10 hour activities between using and recharging.

Had a flash back suddenly of that CAP meeting with Kate Falcon that she recorded when (Nancy?) Davis said "she's very good on the computer." SLAP! I was trained along with the best you whore. What a bird brain. Oh I'm sure she's still collecting her weekly check  saying what ever sounds good and ruining people's lives in the process.

I'm so tired but trying to make the best of ... not sure when or if I'll be able to use the laptop again which is so much easier.

I completely wasn't meant to live like this. Oh I know what I can do. Hunt down more places on facebook to direct my blog to.