Tuesday, April 15, 2014

April 13th 2014 
so today mom asked Christine if she recognizes the name of someone who died that was one of her bus drivers. When I heard it I chimed in with the name of both bus drivers because me and Christine used to have the same services. Then shit hit the fan with me yet again reminding her that unlike Christine I had to go out into the regular world and deal with the repercussions of that being called a retard by the non-disabled because I had ridden on the "retart cart". This all happened right below her front window and all she ever did was tell me to ignore it. Yeah nice defending of myself in life. and mom is not innocent or unknowing either. She grew up with the reputation of beating up the boys (I assume it was over anyone giving her slack for being different - out of her entire family she's the only one not born in Ireland). Oh how convenient mom asks Christine but totally forgot that I came from the same place. I'm not sure how clear it is that this child was let go of a children's hospital only to be raped in this life. Those with blood on their hands are Judge Catherine Langlois from the Morris County Surrogate's Court who retired once I contested Christine's guardianship, Judge Deanne Wilson at the Morris County Surrogate's Court who questioned and witnessed my mother's lack of proper medical care to her children and then just let it slide, Deputy Surrogate Christopher Luango who hasn't returned any of my phone calls or emails that I made to him since August of 2013, Court-appointed attorney Christine Accardi-Mirda who just to win a case omitted my interview testimony that under my mother's care Christine went almost 20 years with untreated seizures, and Attorney Steven J. Straub formally of Norrie and Associates in Montclair NJ (but then got hired in another job in NY) who assisted my mother in lying to get her way in court. The particular lie I'm thinking of right now is when I said in court that Christine was finally put on seizure meds after falling backwards and fainting while doing dishes in the kitchen and my mother shut everyone up with "She did NOT. She was standing on the landing waiting for her bus." lies lies lies lies lies lies lies death death death death intervention intervention intervention intervention intervention because lies don't sit well with my soul and I have way too much energy. While I have nothing to do with my energy alcohol suppresses it.

In response to a reply suggesting getting along without mom: Sounds like a great idea and that's part of what helped ruin my life . I have no other caretaker. I don't know if you have a developmental brain injury or not but it is so important to have the rehabilitative structure set up for life after injury or constantly re-evaluated as needs change. None of that was properly done for me. Upon first leaving home I was dating a guy for what turned out to be a ten year relationship. Where ever I went he set up a rehabilitative structure for me to at least thrive in. Some history is that upon returning home from the children's hospital I wanted to continue cooking and sewing like i did in the hospital but mom 's nerves wouldn't let me risk burning her pots and pans or sticking myself with the needles. As far as cleaning she did all that to take her mind off the overwhelming tragedy we were all in. So essentially she made me dependent on her for life. Outside of the boyfriend and living on my own I tried getting home cleaning services but their evaluation was that I'm a cluttered mess - not a sticky mess so I fall outside how they can help me. I refuse to do welfare which medicaid falls under so anyway mom's house is the only structure that works for me on top of the fact that my soul is not at ease having my sister left under the care of medical insufficiency. Of the research I've done brain damage gets worse if seizures are left untreated which is my mother's fault and there's enough witnesses my sister wants to go to updated treatments but because of mom's history I will not be part of something while she/it's held unaccountable -aka add me officially as medical guardian (which more than one professional understands I'd be qualified for) - I haven't stayed away from this craziness for this long just to get this ultimate slap in the face that my oldest sister and brother-in-law pulled. That's the loose cannon she's been allowed to be. When I contested my sister's guardianship pro se her and her lawyers all stated that I'm away and uninvolved in their lives (lies). But anyway thanks for the input. I need to do a blog so my history is all in one spot. ... Hope I painted a clear picture of the dependency on her that's been put on me.

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