February 26th 2014 Christine is still having problems with that foot/leg as she verbalized last night in frustration. It sounded like she lost her balance and in dialogue with mom said "i dont know what's going on!" mom isnt doing anything about it. Christine has fallen because of that foot/leg before. I have no one in my court for help or guidance to take care of this.

later in the day a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention.

later in the day drinking myself back to sleep in this vacuum of silence. i didn't stay away from this madness all these years just to have some dumbass named Judge Deanne Wilson make the bottom fall out. take care of this and i'll go to AA if need be and get a job and/or gym membership, etc.

February 25th 2014  Recently saw a rerun on syfy channel about the murder of a girl in NJ at a mall solved by a psychic. It came across my mind tonight to see if the natalee holloway murder was ever solved. I decided to see what part psychics have come to say about her death. As I was reading the second source curiosity brought me to ask mom if she ever asked the psychics she went to after our accident what happened. She first denied she went to any after our accident so I gave her a specific example of when she came down on me about something over Ten yrs post-accident that a psychic told her. She said "you mean fortune-teller." (She's not that stupid). She said that's probably the last time she went and she's never asked. I know she's been to others- just cant pinpoint when. Hmmmmm...in this instance I find it hard to believe that of all the investigative research me and mom have in common that she won't bring herself to ask what happened when she's already admitted to a third party she doesn't feel guilty because she doesn't know what happened.

Christine is still having problems with that foot/leg as she verbalized tonight and mom isnt doing anything about it. Christine has fallen because of that foot/leg before. I have no one in my court for help or guidance to take care of this.

earlier in the day Boohoo. This medically neglected child raised by a legal loose cannon immigrant in this country is waiting to die due to the loss of jobs from the illegal immigrants in this country whether or not the 1% are at fault for eliminating jobs. Beat it! Get out! http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news%2Flocal%2Fnew_jersey&id=9445043 

Some days i'd rather not be alive so for now drinking myself back to sleep. Put my wasted research skills to work with something I know mom is into yet my skills not appreciated, uplifted, believed, able to come full-circle, etc. *crash*

February 24th 2014 No apology or justice for me. Just illegal entry into my house, humiliation, permanent shoulder injuries, unproven brain damage from haldol and ensuing hospital imprisonment.

Police chief forced to apologize over comments about jogger arrest

www.dailymail.co.uk

Ex-Pharma Sales Rep Speaks Out Against Drug Companies

tv.greenmedinfo.com

Gwen Olsen used to work for big pharma. She left and wrote a tell all...

don't want to lose my house.

i keep hearing an owl or owlet hooting.

  

 February 23rd 2014 In my favorite time of day. The numbing time. (And the Big Bang theory time).

2nd round. ironic i came across the example of the person from h.s. who went to go visit ca and never came back. they actually live w/in five miles of where a california careless driver rammed into the back of me and took off. been brought up always compared to all these other lives (nondisabled i might add and mom was collecting social security for both me and Christine the whole time against my knowledge - loose cannon in the extreme). no one took proper care of me and then in the end some dumb bitch judge named Deanne Wilson makes the bottom fall out. something to remember me by when the time comes.

was in a deep sleep when the clock went off which i otherwise would not hear had i not fallen asleep on the couch. thought i could go back to sleep unassisted but no such luck. heard yet another example of mom compensating for the mess she made. something fell out of place on the table while her and Christine were eating. i hear mom say "it's ok. it's ok." she created in her the fear that nothing can be out of place and now that we're monsters she has to try and backtrack. Christine can speak way less for herself but i who can speak up has been failed even by stupidity in the end named Deanne Wilson who witnessed FIRSTHAND mom's lack of medical adequacy and then just let it slide. Christine just made demands on mom to check her daily bag that if Christine understood the severity of mom's waning abilities she would not. I did exactly the same yet it is demanded that I pay for it because I should have known better. In the mentality of Claire Mould, I know what it's like to enjoy sex so I should know better. Riiiiiggghhtt.

I woke up this morning just to drink myself back to sleep. Sometimes the thought of the mess i'm in with silent apathy, coldness, and cruel hypocrisy is too much. Christine woke up as usual demanding help from mom oblivious to how unable mom is becoming. I DID SAME BUT BECAUSE I'M HIGHER FUNCTIONING IT'S USED AGAINST ME. MEANWHILE MY NEPHEW WAS RAISED IN A HOUSE OF HAVING HIS NEEDS APPROPRIATELY MET.

a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention. Some psychotherapy for the day. youtube.com/watch?v=N1WCBPiFosg

  woke up to the sound of the garage door - mom taking Christine to her Sunday activity with other handicaps. eventually i won't wake up - woot! even if i wont be in paradise everyone will have learned the lesson of falling for a sweet-sounding foreigner with blatant loose-cannon qualities (controlled by a court once before) but not enough to adrquately watch over the more severely handicapped children in the house. the alternative is someone intervening.

now i understand why i never heard back from one of my long lost relatives. she works with special needs children and knows all i didn't have growing up adding in some other stuff http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8v9yUVgrmPY

February 20th 2014  I was just jolted out of bed by disturbance (mom calling me to get the kitty litter out of my trunk). Run downstairs to mom pretending to cry (usual stress like she did with my driving) and start putting some salt down. As i'm doing that the phone rings up two flights of stairs. I tell mom she doesn't even know if kitty litter will work that it was a suggestion but it's a usual idea for car traction and not walking. Go all the way up stairs to check msg and bring mom's phone to her...long story short ... this chaos happens w/o me being able to take a first morning pee, we wasted salt because christine's ride called from around the corner that they were turning back after seeing the bus in front of them slide down the hill, and mom wants to know why i'm standing out there w/o a coat on (!!!!) Really? ??? This is the everyday stress that didn't belong raising two medically needy children all by herself in a foreign country - one child of which can express how something is really wrong that instead of having medical needs met, all is always a PROBLEM. Getting away from that stress is then used against the expressive child. Riiiiiiggghht. Lh http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N1WCBPiFosg

February 19th 2014 a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention. Some psychotherapy for the day. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N1WCBPiFosg

February 16th 2014 
yesterday i stopped dead in my tracks in pleas for help after coming across a sign in my newsfeed to the effect of "worry about nothing but pray for everything." It's a long story but it's been a long time since I even paid attention to prayer in light of recent revelations of lost books of the bible and internal capabilities we all possess. It took me cognitive time to narrow this:

a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention.

February 15th 2014 
Screw it. Going back to sleep. Been awake since 5am waiting for the snow to fall for a while so i'd be awake to play musical cars for plowing because the park plan didn't work out. It's all supposed to be over NOW after 9pm. I'll be awake then. Hope this works out ok.

mom said how she doesn't want to deal with this driveway situation and i said well I'm not dead yet. for her to go fix her mistake or I'll be dead. there is so much stress here but Christine has been scared into acting like everything's alright...just like me. Only now i see how much mom is not capable but Christine has no choice because that's her caretaker. I WAS THE SAME only i'm paying for it. i can hear Christine swearing in frustration. mom can't because mom's hearing is on the blink.

alot of what i leave here is records about what's happening for when I'm gone. i was a developmentally disabled child from a month long coma and no justice at the hands of many. i'll respond to you more another time. right now i have to leave another record...

so i find the friend list of my ex's neice that includes his mother but not him. i relay to my mother this is the case because as she was told by her one time "i hardly see that baby. he's mad at me for things I've done." MOM NOW DENIES SAYING THIS WHILE I HAVE AN ABOVE-AVERAGE LONG TERM MEMORY. his oldest niece is the reason for the rift in the family because it was out of wedlock. my ex directed me to have an attitude toward his niece years ago because he didn't agree with her engaging in casual sex. i was the fool who gave into his pressure. also for the record, the phone transfer banking i showed her how to do, she's doing right now....make note of it before this oldfashioned cold Ireland fish completely denies it. she just tried to deny it now that she knew what to do that they have an 800#. just like she convinced WHOEVER that she knew how to raise two medically needy children in America. She just said to me for me to go because she needs her space. OH NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. she needs her space now that she knows there's a witness here able to better see thru her CONFUSION of children who didn't know better. For example yesterday the garage door wouldn't close because the shovel I used was in the way of the door closing sensors. In hindsight that's why Christine had such a problem with me later on (over something I didn't do) because mom came up the stairs after door incident going on and on and on and on of how much of a pain in the ass I am.

i was going to respond to your personal msg to me from 2 hours ago. i just woke up. you need to unblock me in order for me to do so.

a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention.

February 14th 2014 time to go home and drink myself to sleep and deal with the stress. happy valentine's day everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA     

youtube.com/watch?v=HLHvb9V8Yzs&feature=kp

come to think of it i was 17 at the time we started dating and he was 19 working in a factory day in and out. oh well ... life destroyed although it was a heterosexual relationship. No fatherly protection from a man with a Romeo & Juliet complex of throwing rocks at my window after a fight. No motherly protection. These are the days before stalking became to be. I always have Vodka for my second high before I sleep I guess; meanwhile he has his children and wife (I assume still). I didnt touch on his beauty and the beast complex. Well I'm no longer a beauty so i guess it's ok for me to go. In this case I support the fourteen year old parents even tho me and my ex didn't know each other before he turned eighteen. http://www.cnn.com/.../florida-kaitlyn-hunt-plea-deal/

February 13th 2014 Last I knew the only "her" there was the idiot who knew me before brain injury Colleen Kober-Pascale. And she's a county college graduate located in Randolph NJ - not Farleigh Dickinson. I can buy the dick in son part. " Laura Antonelli reviewed Butler Police Department. May 11, 2013

I would like to speak to someone about my son being put in danger and also my unborn baby and when I tryed to press charges the cop says if I press charges I'm the one going to jail,and after that I became aware of your officer receives sexual favors from her for him to turn the cheek

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Melissa Wolfe Smail Hey.. Contact some of the news stations...they have those investigation people...they do stories like this... Like · 1 · May 12, 2013

Butler Police"   

later in day STRESS!!!

i need a life. if time were turned back i need a father right up to college. i needed so much destroying me now. if my california job is still there for me to return to (usually not a problem) then i need someone on the east coast to help me end my affairs here...i just need too much...that's why intervention is needed for an uneducated immigrant with too much pride raising medically needy children in America. we would have been happier raised in Ireland or some other viable place

 
alcohol is helping me sleep soon (as i listen to sleet from this megastorm fly against the window).

  
i woke up to this life four hours later trying to get myself back to sleep. my cup runneth over.

just had a flashback that had i not gone to college i would have been labeled a loser and the fact college and choices amounted to nothing for me i'm still a loser. Claire is not as disabled as me and can and always has seen that and KNOWS FROM MY OWNCONVERSATION WITH HER that i do NOT. I was too young...too developmentally needy at the time and that never changed. Then this stupid bitch gets away with it in the end...and she still goes on!...she still stresses us out and lies when she needs to...no one is saving me from this! I need intervention. To a degree she has the mediator fooled...

if you follow all my status updates you'd understand In my mmother not knowing what she really want(s)(ed) she wanted certain things out of her children. After my father died when I was twelve carried on his wish to have his kids go to college. Claire dropped out right after he died but I was only twelve...long story short ...dont know how to shorten it...but thanks for being there