Ok it's all clear now and I'm hoping I made it all clear. When I went to the school nurse over a hearing problem and the problem wasnt hearing but processing they had testing done of me and my mother got her own testing of me in NYC by a neuropsychologist. Mom's missing link was not getting me involved in ddd. Likewise, Morris county is responsible for never getting me in ddd. Mom knows all about ddd from being forced into the services when Claire refused to care for Christine over 30 years after disability onset. All mom has to do now is call ddd about me (so I found out the part of the conversation she never recklessly told me like so many other things. I can't return without a safety net and this is what I needed all along. The independent living center is looking into a social worker for me in this regard. It's still up to mom to look into ddd. Facebook family members who need to poke and prod in this regard are Maureen Murray, ray Murray, Kevin Murray, Teresa Murray, Louise and Melissa and Clare McCarthy, Teresa and Bernie O'Hare, and any1 else I'm forgetting like Yvonne O'Hare. As I said last night I May just do away with myself because there is no living w/o mom and thete is no living w/o reality. I cant live lies and fantasies forever. I get my perfectionist ways from mom and I cant live w/o this massive error having some kind of resolution. Ddd stands for department of developmental disabilities. Judge langlois retired when I contested the guardianship, judge Wilson is retiring soon and if no one fixes this situation I have nothing to sustain my living.
I posted my story many times to all new Facebook friends after the friend bombs all taken down by Facebook (not just me but other people missing stuff). I'm running out of resources for survival and there's no way I'm doing bankruptcy or welfare when this is not my fault or doing. my mother who was given guardianship naturally of me when my father died is an uneducated immigrant in this country and because of her actions in Court my oldest sister Claire was given a court order she wasnt allowed back in the home. the two remaining children in the home were completely unconsidered in this action, left to be raised by a reckless immigrant who was abusive not only in just cultural different ways but medical oversight. longer story than what I can do mobile. I'd love not to give up. I was supposed to be dead this past November. I'm running out of funds/options.
I'm in my early 40s...sounds ludicrous I know but that's what happens when you leave a child unchecked except for a home with daily meals and good clothes...as far as where I should be now, I finished my bucket list which was to drive across the country. had less than a month left to survive when I decided to go to the anniversary of the occupy pepper spraying incident on 10/25/12. it was there I learned from an occupy NY visitor, Stephen Lewis, about strike debt. I gave it a try that maybe by the time I cant go anymore they'll get around to cancelling more than just medical debt. I was less than a month away from going on my final road trip the week of July 4th a couple Weeks ago when I happened upon a stranger who upon hearing why I'm here told me i'm hired and can I start Tuesday for part time to turn to full time. this is a business owner who has fallen on hard times and it is to be seen if the business will recover. I dont need to be working in Calif. I have affairs to get back to on the east coast and certain disability-related isolation has made it so that I dont have anyone to look after my affairs. I'm too responsible to just let all fall to hell. maybe my final road trip has changed from the beginning of August to the beginning of September ...I dont see the point in dragging me even further in this reckless post-tragedy-injury life where it seems I'm surrounded by drug addicts not taking responsibility for a vulnerable child turned vulnerable adult.
July 17th 2013
even my conscience doesnt know;
What lie ahead for my vulnerable soul;
From childhood I did not grow.
Then a stranger came and drained my life;
All I thought I'd take in stride; but he...battery low
July 16th 2013
how to break the cycle is fucking easy - pardon me. the U.S. govt destroyed the crop they had to sustain themselves and work with a sense of worth. in my sister's belief in The Way International they continue in this cycle because of their unbelief in the one true God and instead worship things like the sun. how preposterous! how led astray. how sad.
July 14th 2013
So my learning of diff religions goes on. Mary Baker Eddy exhibits classic signs of a near-death experience and traumatic brain injury after her fall on the ice. Kudos to her female-protesting ways at a time when it was unacceptable for females to rebel. With the mormons Joseph Smith and friends were privy to a NYS freakshow (remember the "freaks" from Woodstock, i.e.? The Way International arose supposedly from a hippie pedofile or orgy-loving man. The 1000 year old church seems to be tied onto rituals rather than mind-freedom. I would venture to say catholicism was set up by hungry pedofiles who edited out important books of the Bible, et. And the awe of truth continues http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FDLooAIxFkg
http://m.youtube.com/... so he admits reincarnation was taken out of the church in the year 300 or 400 for reasons the church saw fit.
July 8th 2013
Ok so I've left mom a voicemail reminding her about how the cumulative past became the present. She told me my father set up schooling for Christine (which can only take them til they turn 21. After that dad had long since died so she sat home everyday doing nothing which turned into temper tantrums and extreme mood swings. I had access to a resource list and gave it to my mother who completely ignored it but it prompted her to call the insurance caseworker who put her into the cheapest and most inappropriate program packaging thermometer s and the like and sitting around when there was no work. I dont remember when and how she was put into something more appropriate but I remember her coming home crying she wanted a regular job and my mother would tell her she couldnt when I knew my mother was short-changing her life. Before he died my father did nothing for me as far as I know except keep me in Catholic school with no extra help whatsoever for the rest of my life when there is a different but necessary life planning for me. To be continued...