March 6, 2014
It's devastating when friends let friends down.:( :( :(

lovely when your closest friends cancel friend requests while being friends with your ex and other mutual friends. last i saw them in person they looked away as i saw them in the store pretending not to see me. as i got closer acted friendly but got the cold shoulder from me. i saw what they did. as if! this is a friend that goes back YEARS. smh I recently realized the local lingo my ex was part of and I WAS NOT. he had a hang up about "pretty boys". Well my father was a business man pretty boy from the city so get the fuck out and stop ruining the life of a developmentally disabled nice girl who already has plans in life. Destroyed that too. I just need to be dead already. A life wasted and couldn't even be saved by a fucking judge who witnessed what was adverse to us and just let it slide.

it really sucks when the explanation for odd behavior or verging on psycho is all explained with a brain injury and some of the last people for support are some of the closest people in your life. take for instance a friend who went on to help kids with special needs but when it comes to you being a child left behind it's not considered.

no no bff. for how loyal i am everything just fell apart. because my brain injury is unobvious i don't think people knew how much i was petrified and losing it on the inside. upon coming home from the hospital there were the neighborhood kids and the usual friendships/breakups/fights/making up. naturally the closest friends were the ones who lived next door. the bf i had next to me was a hot-headed biatch who even said to me once that i was never going to go becoz i was "scared" (of not having anyone). once i got to highschool our friendship broke apart soon after because i met a group of friends realizing what TRUE friends are - not the type that domineer over you (had a bf seperate from the one next door who did same but she broke away from me stating i did something earth shattering to her like say behind her back she's bossy). after i switched highschools i just didnt have the same bonds ever again. for some lost reason. i was given some kind of diagnosis my senior year of highschool so by the time i got to college all attention went to compensating for my diagnosis and i never hung out to make friends in college. I'd say it was the 4th year in college when the symptoms of a right frontal lobe brain injury were revealed to me and my whole life fell into place: environmental needs of staying in a familiar environment, deficits in socializing, prioritizing, initiation, inhibition, decision-making, etc. In college I was involved in groups but just didn't (or couldn't) make those long lasting friendships and not sure why - probably an unobvious brain injury reason why. NYS ruining my career didn't help matters. Sometimes you make really good friendships in the workforce just out of college but without my medical life being managed and being left to the uneducated care of my family all just fell apart. It's very isolating especially with an immigrant mother whose only job is to laugh at her American daughter's shortcomings because immigrants are to be very successful. I'm babbling - I know. But there you have what's happened all in the end to be failed by the final straw of the surrogate's court when there is such a lack of medical appropriateness in these lives of children.

 http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ymG3eQempnI

March 5th 2014  

this sounds as bad as what brain injury victims have been put through.

Help Justina Pelletier: A Victim of Psychiatric False Imprisonment and Human Rights Abuse | CCHR...

www.cchrint.org

 Mom's going to get ashes following ritual but as always deaf blind and oblivious to what she can't take care of by herself right under her nose! STRESS! This is too much!

Round 2. This disabled children negligence/morris county surrogate court failure is so coming to a head.

in reply to support:  ty mhana. means a lot to my heart. i so miss my california boss and being in cali where the attitudes are so mich more open. she graduated college in the midwest usa but when she left Indonesia it is SO CLEAR to me she is wrapped in a spirit of well-being that fulfills her every need. oh i have to go back to Cali just to survive? hmph

March 4th 2014

Wth is wrong w FB. not letting comment normally? Round 2.ever since I chopped ice recently my police injury pain won't go away in my elbow. I keep icing it although I'm not as generous with ibuprofen as I am with alfalfa sprouts. I did the chopping with untied shoes and now have a swelled chunk around my ankle of the same leg that's been operated on five times. I felt pain in my calf and tingling in the left side of my head a few times. Stroke? Woot! I'm going home! I can't take this. I deserve to be recruited for work. I was recruited by a Bob Shepherd once and what followed was sexual harassment. Fuck that! Then he turned around and made a recommendation to stephen novatchick that I be psychiatrically treated before going any further with employment! and it was a job with the state which is full of corruption. I can hear mom sleeping as usual who doesn't suffer sleep disturbances like her injured children. Christine sleeps through the night ever since being put on seizure meds. Mom comes out and says no it's due to making her bedtime 15 minutes later. Rriiiiiiiiggghht. The only thing I have to look forward to today is paying some bills and getting to the liquor store. There are certain people who know i'm recruitable and they're just not doing it. So don't employ me. I'll just die.

  woke up :(

extreme shooting pain in back of ankle when i took a step that it made me yell out in pain. limping w the pain. took advil. elbow pain felt better before after loading alfalfa sprouts on sandwich for a few hours atleast. 2nd dose of sprouts w dinner sometime soon.

fix this very wrong situation at the surrogate's court and i'll go to a doctor.

March 3rd 2014  Round 3. This needs to come to a head soon. I have a high work ethic left to this stupidity. My mother's sister pointed out Sat. that mom doesn't know. THEN WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS THE UNKNOWING PROVIDING CARE TO THE MEDICALLY NEEDY? It sounded like I informed my relatives on Saturday about things they didn't know like mom taking me to her own opinion long ago (never following thru on the specific recommendations). The inappropriate choices, etc.

so i realize now mom is happier with Claire because she sounds more normal with normal things talking to her friend throughout the years about her grandson. I'm just a loser but she has nothing to do with that. riiiiiiiiggghht.

we're talking about an overwhelmed prideful woman who is more comfortable acting like there is something mysteriously wrong with me rather than paying attention to viable things. I'm sick to my stomach from too much alcohol and i'm in babble mode. This existence really needs to come to a head. Saturday is the apex of negligence I can take. I don't know if I got thru about a lot of things. Laying here with star wars on tv with one eye open and finger punching a myriad of life waiting to die. I was a child with no protection from a bully - namely my mother at times. I so needed a father or other figure around this house to keep this woman on more of an even keel. I don't really watch steve harvey but today I caught a glimpse of the segment of the woman who has good instincts but gets rid of good men because she grew up without a father figure and doesn't know better - I know how that goes. I've got people who use me as a stepping stone to advance their careers yet I'm waiting to die. If I could pull myself out of this hole by myself I would have done so long ago. Just want this over with already. I'll stop babbling now.

 March 2nd 2014

 Christine missed her Sunday activity due to mom's weather fear which still hasn't arrived. They would have been home from it an hour ago. Her response was "well one weather report said it would start around noon but what was I supposed to do?" My response was go take care of this situation and she won't have to worry. Her response was a wave of the hand. Yup.

later in the day Christine is sitting here waiting for dinner as mom struggles with pain. i would be helping were i not ignored by this incompetent and inappropriate guardian. Claire had this pressure taken off her by intervention and came back full-circle. go figure.

later in the day mom's complaining she's not really able to prepare and serve this dinner but wont take care of the problem even though my help has alleviated her many times. nice going Judge Deanne Wilson, Christine Mirda esq, and Steven Straub esq. nice going.

This morning I heard mom say to Christine she couldn't help her with part of her footware because it hurt her hands too much so Christine doing the usual of trying to lessen the stress said "it's ok I got it."

Containing my rage at the uneducated coldness that turned deaf ears at me today was a REAL challenge. Atleast Christine said from her own mouth again wanting to get better thru the get better plan. When my mother's sister kept insisting it's not a possibility I looked up and let her know how stem cells are treating polio - her condition. What is she going to say now?

a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention. drank myself back to sleep in this vacuum of silence again yesterday and any given day. i didn't stay away from this madness all these years just to have some dumbass named Judge Deanne Wilson make the bottom fall out. take care of this and i'll go to AA if need be and get a job and/or gym membership, etc Christine is still having problems with that foot/leg as she verbalized last night in frustration. It sounded like she lost her balance and in dialogue with mom said "i dont know what's going on!" mom isnt doing anything about it. Christine has fallen because of that foot/leg before. I have no one in my court for help or guidance to take care of this. And we all know now mom is passing these foot/leg problems off as frivolous. Edited · Like · 1 · More · 10 hours ago

Mhana Mason xoxo Like · Delete · 9 hours ago

Occupied Newbie ty mhana. i'm probably doomed. As if there's a lawyer out there that can save me. As if Edited · Like · More · 3 hours ago

Occupied Newbie http://www.empowher.com/poliomyelitis/content/stem-cell-therapy-used-cure-polio

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Occupied Newbie http://m.cancer.org/treatment/treatmentsandsideeffects/treatmenttypes/bonemarrowandper ipheralbloodstemcelltransplant/stem-cell-transplant-types-of-t ransplant

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Occupied Newbie http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131003111204.htm

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Occupied Newbie http://www.lifenews.com/2013/10/17/once-paralyzed-man-given-new-lease-on-life-thanks-to-adult-stem-cells/

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Occupied Newbie http://www.rense.com/general60/dtem.htm

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Occupied Newbie http://www.scoop.co.nz/stories/SC1308/S00025/stem-cell-therapy-shows-promise-in-repairing-brain-damage.htm

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Occupied Newbie http://m.medicaldaily.com/boys-stem-cells-successfully-treat-cerebral-palsy-awaken-him-vegetative-state-246192

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Occupied Newbie http://www.piedmontpmr.com/blog/post-polio-syndrome-responds-to-stem-cell/

Stem Cell Therapy Used to Cure Polio - Article by Joanna ...

www.empowher.com

 

 

http://www.piedmontpmr.com/blog/post-polio-syndrome-responds-to-stem-cell/

Piedmont Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation P.A. » Blog Archive » Post Polio Syndrome Responds...

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Occupied Newbie http://www.empowher.com/.../stem-cell-therapy-used-cure...

Stem Cell Therapy Used to Cure Polio - Article by Joanna ...

www.empowher.com

research shows that stem cell therapy may be used to cure polio

 

Containing my rage at the uneducated coldness that turned deaf ears at me today was a REAL challenge. Atleast Christine said from her own mouth again wanting to get better thru the get better plan. When my mother's sister kept insisting it's not a possibility I looked up and let her know how stem cells are treating polio - her condition. What is she going to say now? http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N1WCBPiFosg

 

some of it is no longer research. cancer in america is being treated with stem cells as well as paralysis. polio is atleast being stem-cell treated in India and who knows how many other advances have progressed from research. Christine will and has been missing out on what's available for her because i was cut out of her guardianship. my mother's sister's son is a cop and as he was trying to tell me to give this up yesterday he not only asked if i was saying mom intentionally did what she did (and i reminded him he already knows the difference between intentional and negligent homicide) but he also said i keep bringing up the past when talking about the present and i just didnt get to remind him that when he pulls someone over he must first get their ID and check their history for the reason a previous history raises a red flag whereas there is no history on my mom because she has been flying under the radar. that is why my condition i take Christine to medical care is ONLY with me officially included in her care. Christine is missing out on all of this and no one is correcting this situation.

 

February 28th 2014   I have made multiple phone calls for mom in the past couple days over the things she's more comfortable going on incessantly about rather than DO something about - the trend that raised me. Armed with the info I have provided her she just left to do those errands complaining that she can't do it all on her own. I yet again said to go take care of the important things and she won't have that problem.  She blew it off as I am talking shit. I said that all these years instead of paying for stuff she could have sought out a medical/legal plan for me (since there was clearly a problem she kept secret from everyone). Did I get through? We'll never know.

 a record to be left is this: after i proved my case of how medically negligent mom has been and Judge Deanne Wilson was still handing over the reigns to mom, she said to me "you can file your own..." trailing off. i asked a lawyer after the fact what that meant and it made total sense to the lawyer. He said that she didn't finish her sentence because she would basically be disproving her own decision (paraphrase). either way i am fucked all around without intervention.

 drank ng myself back to sleep in this vacuum of silence. i didn't stay away from this madness all these years just to have some dumbass named Judge Deanne Wilson make the bottom fall out. take care of this and i'll go to AA if need be and get a job and/or gym membership, etc

 Christine is still having problems with that foot/leg as she verbalized last night in frustration. It sounded like she lost her balance and in dialogue with mom said "i dont know what's going on!" mom isnt doing anything about it. Christine has fallen because of that foot/leg before. I have no one in my court for help or guidance to take care of this.

 

later in the day  Christine just lost her balance again. mom's respinse? "ok calm down. sit down and i'll do it." that's exactly why mom does the dishes now after christine was finally put on seizure meds after falling doing that. Yet in front of her lawyer and to my face lied declaring Christine was standing on the landing waiting for her bus at the time. how bout "ok we need to get you to a doctor because you keep losing ur balance more and more."???????? Btw Christine was upset by the episode and said "it was a good thing the sink was there for me to grab onto!" Followed by a swearing temper tantrum.

 

 later in the day  Claire's oldest son just gave mom a false address, otherwise I would beable to tell her exactly how far he is from her nephew. I told her he learned how to lie from the best. Her youngest son just got into a car accident the other day. Woooo the devil must be entering their lives with their lying as the culprit. So earlier mom was about to make another expense because of me and I reminded her where me getting a job comes in. Her usual shit came into play saying my father kept me in catholic school and my usual that if she knew what she was doing she would have sent me to public school as soon as he died in 7th grade and then I was diagnosed too late but she's completely disconnected from my life in America... her final out was the past is the past and I stating it created the present monster but she just acts like a dumbass ... too much to record. When I brought up about the current foot / leg problem with Christine she declared "oh that's only happened a couple of times!" Same shit. Different decade. I said "and when is it a few times too many? After she's cracked her skull walking to the bus one morning?" No reply.